I’ve written elsewhere about the death of the thong in our college classrooms. Time was–and it wasn’t long ago–when we could count on on our undergrad co-eds to enliven and enrich our teaching by flouting their so-called undergarments. We relied upon those lacy secrets. They told us that there was life somewhere on the other [...]
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Goodbye Thong; Hello Cleavage
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breasts, cleavage on October 6, 2008 | No Comments »
On Poop: A Smelly Disquisition
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged kids, Poop, shit, Thomas Pynchon on September 18, 2008 | No Comments »
By what strange chemic and metabolic alchemy does that steak that I ingested this eve become, upon its twelve-hour journey, a load of poop upon the blossomy morn? And what part of the poop does said steak occupy, for it is exceedingly difficult to parse it from the salad parts and the potato parts and [...]
Vice Presidential Fantasies
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged fantasy, Vice President on September 4, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Finally, a vice presidential candidate I could see myself sleeping with. O sure, there was Walter Mondale–Wally–who fired my loins as a young man. I touched his hand–once, fleetingly–in a hotel ballroom in Louisville, Kentucky. I will never forget that day. He looked down at me with those soft midwestern peepers, and I could hardly [...]
Lake George Rednecks
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Rednecks on August 25, 2008 | No Comments »
Just back from an illuminating weekend up North, where I was led to believe–erroneously–that redneck-dom isn’t the force that it clearly is in my native mid-South. Oh, my friends, but I now disabused.
I have lived in a number of states: LA, KY, MD, IN, NJ (and more), and I have known rednecks. My friends, I [...]
Another “Predictable Argument”
Posted in Uncategorized on August 16, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Since when did we become a nation so in love with the put down, “predictable argument”? So-and-so offers another “predictable argument” about such-and-such. Our fearless leader put forth another tired, “predictable argument.” Should a thinking person lend any credence to her “predictable argument”?
I’m seeing it everywhere. Are we only to believe those who can come [...]
Olympic Swimmer Has Baby!
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged babies, olympics on August 9, 2008 | 1 Comment »
This just in: Forty-one year old Olympic medal hopeful Dara Torres has a two-year old baby! No word yet on where John Edwards was two years and nine months ago, but my sources tell me that he’s not a strong swimmer.
My New Obsession: “Piazza, New York Catcher”
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged music, obsession on August 8, 2008 | No Comments »
Perhaps I am coming late to the game, but I feel like I’m in high school again. My new obsession, Belle and Sebastian’s “Piazza, New York Catcher.”
Elope with me, Miss Private, and we’ll sail around the world
I will be your Ferdinand and you my wayward girl
How many nights of talking in hotel rooms can you [...]
My Coffeehouse, Redux
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged alienation, coffee shop, old men on August 6, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I wrote previously about the old farts at my local–which is to say, global–coffeehouse. I made it back this week and they were there again, loud as ever, disrupting the calming influence of white noise with their boisterous banter.
Taking my cue from the now defunct Dr. Disillusioned, I decided to listen in, and here is [...]
The Special
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged food, money on July 31, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I made the mistake of ordering The Special, both for the appetizer and the entree. I knew from experience, of course, that The Special would cost twice as much. But I expected–no, I hoped–that this would be different. I had eaten at this Japanese place before, but I had never had The Special. Where did [...]
Going to the Olympics? Beware.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged death penalty, olympics on July 25, 2008 | No Comments »
Don’t jaywalk. Don’t spit on the sidewalk. You might leave the chewing gum in your hotel room. Forget about urinating in public.
Hands off Cain released a study that says that of the roughly 5,851 executions in the world last year, China was responsible for around 5,000.
If I were you, I’d try to get a room [...]
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